“Live as people that are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God.” - 1 Peter 2:16 (ESV)
We live in a dependent culture. We live in a “couple ” culture. As a 21 year old single girl living in the city, I’m often asked why I don’t have a boyfriend…for a long time I struggled with this myself . I struggled to believe that I could live a fulfilling life being single and then something changed.
Over this past summer I made a decision not to date anyone at all. I wanted to work through some issues in my own life before I welcomed someone else in.
I was so serious about this, that I willing accepted an agreement to not date all summer or pay my roommate $300…a steep sum for a college student living on her own. It was hard at first, but as I began to accept my single state and focus on my relationship with Christ it became easier and easier. I didn’t need a man to survive. I found that I could be happy on my own. As the summer went on, I grew to be more and more independent. I think independency gets a bad rap in our culture, especially in western christian culture. Independency is often related to rebellion, and rebellion is looked down upon. Dependency is looked down on too, we are supposed to be fully dependent on Christ and not on man.
But, how are we supposed to act if we are not rebellious or needy? I believe we were created to be independent and submitted. We willingly choose to be submitted to leaders. Our independency keeps us from finding our identity in man and his opinion of us, while our willful submission of Christ and the leaders He has put in our life keep us safe and free.
Summer has ended and I’ve won my bets, I can start dating again. But, to be completely honest , I’m not actively looking for a date, I am content. I am fulfilled freely choosing to make Christ the focus in my life, depending on Him, and submitting to the godly men and women He has in my life. I think the answer to a dependent culture is an independently submitted one…freely choosing to follow Christ in the freedom He won for us. When this becomes our perspective the need to be in a relationship, or accepted and loved by everyone we meet does not rule our thoughts and actions. We are free and Christ created us to be free.
Freely and fully alive Him.