2

mx more :: open canvas

Catch me as I’m fading, secretly completing everything spinning deep inside me. Confusion is the illusion, trust issues is my confession. Walls I built up high with the gate locked. You wouldn’t know cause you stopped knocking, stopped knocking. Silent, coming and going…

Possibilities that felt unlikely when everything I knew was far from me. High off 2015, hung over memories, living a dream, stuck up in the clouds until I fell down…damaged and broken. Like, everything in my life wasn’t working.

Depression and social anxiety had me by the neck, meanwhile, I hung up the mic like it was nothing, later on realizing it was meant to do something…meant to do something…storytelling for the ones who are lost and lonely…sitting alone thinking, if only, if only.

Music saved me when nobody had me. Message in the lyrics that kept me going, like a flame it keeps burning, keeping me warm when I was left out alone in the cold with nothing to hold.

Feel me, ignore me, it no longer hurts me. Try to burn me or roast me but it won’t hit me cause I’m free, not captive but free and you’ll never get to me.

Open canvas on display for all to see, my life is an art gallery, catch my soul in the beat that I’m making and my heart singing and rhyming in the words that I’m writing. Shifting colors, blurry lines, bleeding lights in the photographs that I’m creating.

always working, always climbing, always striving to be the best that I can be. The one that I was meant to be. Original not seasonal. Buried in the past, I was brought back to life. Bad company corrupts good character. Real love comes from above, always climbing, always thriving, conquering the fears that are no longer hiding.

You can judge me but, I won’t let it get to me because I am free, filled with positivity and you’ll never get to me.

Life on the streets, honesty my best policy, text me, you’ll miss me. My calling is trapped in the media, my mission in the communities with the Twenty Somethings…always moving and never stopping, enemies secretly watching and waiting to knock me down. Always taking heat like it’s a race that I need to be competing in.

Open Canvas with all eyes on it, always moving, never stopping, enemies patiently waiting in the corner to knock it off. I am who I am, introvert meets extrovert that’s me. Losing followers on a daily, annoying ain’t she? Stupid videos she keeps making, she says she loves Jesus but, I heard her listening to Yeezy, and Eminem well that just feels a bit shady…ask me to put on a show and I’ll leave you hanging, ask me to be who I am and I’ll leave a standing full room clapping.

I was not made to please but to be the person I was created to be. If God wasn’t real I’d be dead in a casket, if prayer was fake for goodness sake my walls would survive this earthquake.

My story is like a gallery full of blank walls and paintings, hanging and some broken from all the madness and hurting.

Life spinning in circles, living life full with no rehearsal.

always out late, never goes on a date. Well, this ain’t right…I was called to be a leader and to make those around me to feel like they matter, smiling full of laughter. Music being my medicine and dancing my therapy.

Everytime someone tells me I can’t, I then become determined to prove them wrong. Because you ain’t got nothing on me, nothing you say will defeat me. You shot me, but I forgave you, still loved you before you pulled that trigger and it should’ve killed me quicker.

When I was all alone left with nothing, music helped remind me that I was something that I was alive and living and breathing. That your story is something worth telling. Maybe a lone survivor but a hope provider.

- Emily Muse

http://instagram.com/ylimemariee

mxtv.org/chat